Heights make me uncomfortable. In fact, I usually say I’m afraid of them. I get a little dizzy, and my stomach flips as I imagine falling or dropping. Even worse is the feeling that I want to jump! For much of my adult life I have either missed out on, said no, or denied myself certain experiences and events so as to avoid feeling the fear.

And the fear of heights could be replaced with the fear of most anything: Fear of change and transition, fear of crowds, fear of judgment, fear of inadequacy. We avoid or deny ourselves situations and experiences that stunt our own growth because we don’t want to feel the anxiety the fear brings.

Two years ago, while on vacation in Mexico with the Goddesses, we took an excursion to a beautiful cenote. Many people were swimming and some were climbing up the stone ledge and jumping off a 20ft drop into the cold water below. My husband and friends were stripping down to their bathing suits to get in line. My first thought was, “NO WAY” until I thought, “Why not?” I wanted to live a life of more adventure. I wanted to have the freedom to be spontaneous and not be handcuffed to fear. And so I began the psychological pep talk. “You can do this. You are brave. Just do it.” I could feel their shock when I began climbing up the steps to join them. With out thinking too much, I raced to the front of the line and got right out to the edge. I felt myself freeze in hesitation. From the water below I saw several Goddesses swimming and realized they were cheering for me. I heard my fearless friend Heather Greico yell, “GO REGENA!” And in one courageous move, I flung myself off the ledge. As I dropped, I screamed in the realization that the drop was further down than I thought! With my heart pounding out of my chest, I hit the cold water and then resurfaced to a whole new sense of triumph. I had done it. I had faced my fear and jumped in anyway. I realized that it wasn’t nearly as terrifying as it had been in my mind, that it created new experiences and that it fostered more confidence. We always hear about how muscle has memory. Well I believe our risk taking muscle does too.

Since that time, I have made it a personal practice to do something every vacation that scares me. This means I have gone parasailing, climbed to the top of two Acropolises in Greece, gone rock climbing in the middle of the Mediterranean, and conquered a huge waterslide. Next I think a rollercoaster or a zipline might be in order.

And although I still feel fear and anxiety, the jumping in gets easier because I’m developing my risk taking skills while understanding that the payoff is growth, new skills, and more courage! Here is a recap of the lessons learned in handling a fear.

1. Stop getting ready to get ready by walking around the pool. The more you stop yourself from taking action the more the fear builds. I knew that if I had sat on the sidelines and waited and watched and waited and watched the more fear I would have created which would have paralyzed me. I’ve often heard, “I’m not ready, I don’t have enough experience.” And while those are legitimate concerns the only way to increase your skills and experience is to JUMP INTO IT! Even if you make a mistake, the learning will help you develop yourself faster than just thinking about it.

2. Have someone to cheer you on who’s done it before. When facing a difficult change, transition, offer, prospect. Look to someone who has been where you are to give your doubt more of a plan of action as to what to expect and what the big pay off is! Tell yourself if they can do it, so can you.

3. Recognize that the way your body handles fear is similar to how it handles excitement. Harness that increase in energy and adrenaline to move you forward instead of holding you back. Focus your mind and get determined. Although you may imagine your fear as a big brick wall, the truth is that it’s only a feeling that shifts the second you start taking action.

So what is your proverbial pool that you continue to walk around? Maybe you’ve even stuck your toe in just to check the water temperature. The only way to have what you really want is to just jump in.

Rinse and repeat often

Just so you know, I love pancakes and so does my family. While shopping recently, I bought a convenient organic batter in a can that I thought would be great for a mid-week three pancake breakfast fix. And so I tried it. It was “eh”. In fact, I have found all of the mixes out there to be substandard in comparison to my very own buttermilk or pumpkin pancake creations.

This morning I got up and made a “from scratch” batch. As we all lifted our forks to our mouths filled with fluffy golden goodness dripping with real maple syrup, the overwhelming response was, “ooohs and ahhhs.” They were better than any mix and could rival any breakfast joint. My son said, “you are the best pancake maker ever, “ and although he is prone to very exaggerated yet passionate declarations, I still felt my initial reaction to be one of, “really its nothing. It’s just pancakes”.

And then I realized how often we do that. We sell ourselves short of our skills, talents, unique gifts and accomplishments. We brush off the accolades, tell ourselves it’s no big deal, and deny ourselves the deep satisfaction of our full repertoire of uniqueness. Yes, I could say it was just a simple breakfast that I had created. But I have spent months and maybe even years gathering recipes, procuring the best tools, perfecting the technique and figuring out how to make the best breakfast pancake out there. I share myself, my talents, and my passion for food when I make pancakes. I take care of my family and create a weekend morning ritual. I know we were taught as children not to be boastful and to be humble. But too much of that rearing and we miss out on celebrating ourselves and finding pride and joy in the everyday thinking we should only take ownership of big moves, big money, big awards or big promotions. Yet relishing and acknowledging the simple act of creating the perfect pancake is how we find happiness and satisfaction on a quiet Saturday morning. I decide today to stand in celebration and pride of my pancake making skills . I say to you, dear blog reader, that its time to reclaim and truly own your triumps, talents and random skills. What is it that you do well? Are you a grill master? an inspiring ironing maiden? a SkipBo dynamo? an 80’s song lyric savante?

I am a Pancake Queen. I make mouth-watering pancakes. In fact next time, I just might wear a crown while mixing the batter.

Want the recipe? Download my Nourish E-book and wow your family this weekend!